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9.12.2011

I am Ahab...

I am tired from the chase. It has been months since i have seen dry land, somewhere to rest my soul from this constant chase. I've seen it all drawn from beneath my feet. I've seen everything laid down in front of me and still i wander this endless sea in search of my white whale.

 

The beast is playing with me. Just as i think i am near it, it dissapears beneath the waves, laughing at my futile efforts. When its white back appears in the horizon i act like a mad man. "Break your backs men! Forward or we will lose it again!". My men are tired but they carry on. They fear my wrath and my angry face. I spit and shout and point to the beast. They obey silently grunting as the oars hit the waves.

 

I want the beast to fear me! Fear my devotion in it! Fear my angry face and spear! Fear, for it's death is near!

 

I leap on its back, arms streched up holding my weapon ready for the kill! I look him straight in the eye! And then...

 

I wake up covered in sweat. I wasn't on my ship. I couldn't smell the sea. My hands where trembling, as if tired from days of labor. In that rare moment of clarity i saw myself truly for the first time. I saw me spinning through a web of thoughts. I heard my wooden leg hit the deck of my ship's soul and rip through my mind. And then i understood...

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